WHAT ADVICE would you offer your younger self?
Becoming an artist, helped me to realize that i needed to express and process what happened to me. The more i created, the less i cut on myself, until i stopped cutting all together. The same thing happened with my bouts of starving and purging. I stopped hating on myself and started to learn how to love myself. I learned to stop turning all the anger, hurt and angst i had toward my abusers, inward. I found forgiveness.
There were still years and years of abusive friendships and relationships. But gradually, over time, i began to learn how to translate the voice i found in my art, to the real world. I still have a ways to go, but i have come so far and realize it will be an ever-evolving journey.
If i could give my younger self a piece of advice, it would be this: You are going to have a very tough time of things, for many years. And these experiences are going to shape your art and yourself into something positive, healing and productive. So be patient with yourself and persevere, because you will find your way in this world and you will find your voice. And someday, you will show others how to find theirs. Your journey will be as difficult as it is fulfilling, don’t give up and don’t be too proud to ask for help.
I have already created many pieces of art for my younger and future self, because my creativity isn’t bound to time in the linear sense. I am connected to everything, everyone and all versions of myself, simultaneously. This is part of what is so intoxicating about the creative realm, it can bend the bands of time.
I cannot speculate on where my art will be in the future, because i live in the present moment. All i know, is that it will be shaped, first and foremost, by my internal landscape. That terrain changes with life circumstances, personal highs and lows and by the people that come in and out of my life. I have a stream-of-consciousness way of working… I let that current carry me wherever it wishes to, wherever it needs to…
I come at my art from the perspective of making the personal, universal.